Shrink Wrap

Posted on Mon Jul 31st, 2017 @ 10:22pm by Counselor Melony Taylor & Ensign Jonathan Forrest

Episode: Preparations
Location: CNS Office

Unlike many Starfleet officers, Jonathan had no issues with counselors and didn't try to avoid them. It wasn't because he was young and naive. Young he most certainly was. But he was not naive, or at least he didn't think of himself as such. He believed in them, but then he'd only been with two; Doctor Frays who had helped both him and his sister, more than once, and Doctor T'aler a Vulcan that had been stationed at the Academy. T'aler had not been nearly as helpful at Gilik, Doctor Frays had been, her style had been too different than his, too logical for him to be that effective. He had no idea what the Highlander's counselor would be like. He hoped she would be good because he wasn't stopping by her office, just for a routine, onboarding evaluation. He was coming to see her because he needed help."

Melony had been getting bored of pouring through some of the new studies that she had to read up on, there was only a few left now, enough to keep her busy for the rest of the day but somehow with her concentration was slipping and her coffee cup now empty she didn't see herself getting through all of them today. She had picked up one or two interesting tidbits from the studies so far but nothing groundbreaking had come through in a while. 

She was just coming back from the replicator with a fresh cup of coffee when the door to her office opened to see Jonathan coming in to see her.

"Good morning, ma'am," he said with a smile,  "I'm sorry for not scheduling an appointment. Do you have some time to see me now?"

Melody pointed to one of the couches in her room "Morning, Jonathan isn't it. I really don't mind, I prefer people to drop by whenever they need me, and currently, I'm free so please come in and sit down, what was it you wanted to talk about? Oh, and do you want a drink?" She said before putting her coffee down on the table by the couches.

"Thanks," the helmsman replied as he moved to sit down, "cranberry juice, please. And yes, there is something I wanted to talk about. My sister."

After getting a cranberry juice and placing on the table in front of Jonathan, she took a seat across from him and picked up her coffee again before asking "Not gotten into an argument with her I hope?" 

"It's a bit more serious than that, I'm afraid," he said before taking a sip of his drink and sitting it back down again. We use to be very close, she's just three weeks younger than me, and we used to be inseparable I mean we've had our differences in the past, but those have been pretty minor."

"We were at the Academy Annex together on Deep Space Thirteen..."  paused, taking another sip of his drink. "Then, about five months ago I was kidnapped by pirates. They wanted information about the station. Information that Angela possessed. She wouldn't give it to them, and I paid for it. I lost a hand and my eye because of her choice."

"I know she made the right decision, I probably would have done the same thing, I think. But I'm having a hard time forgiving her and she's having a harder time dealing with the guilt."

Melony nodded "It's not easy adjusting to your new situation. Are you having any trouble with that by the way? I know that they are more medical questions but, any loss of sleep? Struggling with any tasks at all? Because it's all going to be playing into how you're feeling with this." she said reeling off a few questions to get an idea of how he was progressing.

"From a physical standpoint, I'm adjusting.  The prosthetics are actually better than the original ones. I'm still feeling some phantom pain in my hand, but that's diminishing. Emotionally though it's been more of a challenge.  I have nightmares about it at least once a week."

Inwardly Melony winced once a week, no she couldn't let him leave before getting him to voice some of what was inside his head, or things were likely to get a lot worse. She was going to have to push him a bit more than she had wanted to on their first session.

"Would she be your sister if she had given in and given them the information they wanted? She probably knew they would have hurt hundreds more with it, and was trying to minimise the risk. She probably didn't expect either of you to even live through it, and if she did she knew that you two have been through hell together before and could cope."

"No, she wouldn't be my sister if she had given in, and I wouldn't have wanted her to. As Vulcans say, the needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few, or the one. Still, it is different saying that as an outside observer than when you are in the middle of the whole thing dealing with it."

"I'm not saying that you're the outside observer," he added hastily, "maybe I should have said knowing it in my head is one thing and living it out is something different."

"I know this may sound like a very harsh thing to say but is it really your sister you have to forgive? Did she have the knife? Did she cut off your hand, and cut out your eye? Do you think she would? You know she loves you, or is it because you're feeling betrayed that she didn't just give them the information to stop you suffering? So that they didn't have to cut away your hand." Melony paused knowing the effect this was having to hold herself back from saying too much, from pushing too hard too quickly, though she may have already.

"No," the blond man responded, "of course she didn't have a knife. Back just before we joined the Academy, she saved my life. I know she loves me. It's just, it's just, I don't know.  But who the hell am I suppose to forgive?"

"Yourself." Melony answered, "You need to stop feeling guilty for wanting her to save you first."

There was a pause before the Ensign commented, "I didn't think about it like that, I, I'm not sure I can do that."

Melony relaxed a bit and her voice softened "I don't expect you to. Not right away it will take time for things to fall back into place, for you to reconsile how you'd like to of reacted to the feeling of being 'sacrificed for the greater good' as opposed to how you did feel when the situation actually happened. You'll come to terms with this when your ready and we can take it bit by bit.

She changed topics slightly then to give him a breather from his own, "As for your sister, survivor's guilt is not uncommon and I would expect it's worse as you both have a personal connection that they exploited or tried to at least. I expect she's currently wishing that it was her that had lost a hand and an eye because you wouldn't divulge information. Do you think that she has the easier side of this?" Melony stopped looking at Jonathan for a few minutes and shifted her demeanor from a questioning to a more calming one seeing that she had pushed past the point he could cope with at the minute.

"No,  I know it hasn't been easier for her. I never said that."

"Jonathan, look at me here" she softly making sure she had his attention "I know you never said that, and I just wanted to give you a voice for some questions you probably won't ask yourself. Things you won't dare to voice or feel worse for doing so. But I also want you to make an effort to be there for your sister, I intend to try and take out any wedge that this situation may or may not have created between the two of you." 

He turned and looked over at her. "I do want to be there for her, I've always been there for her in the past. I've always been the one protecting her."

"I meant be there for her as a brother, not as a protector. I doubt she's as fragile as you think, give her a chance to take a bit of risk on her own, or even protect you a bit and I bet she might just surprise you. It's possible that's why she's feeling guilty for not protecting you like you have done for her. I can't really say too much more without meeting her though." Melony said realising that she needed to go over his notes again before his next session, she didn't want to backtrack on some of the insights he now had.

"Well, I don't know when I'll talk to her again, but maybe if she's okay with it we can try talking, you know the three of us."

"That might be something to work on a bit later down the line but I think stopping your nightmares is a priority right now. Feel free to swing by here next time you have one I'm usually up at all hours of the night myself anyway." Melony paused smiling again. "Besides I think you have more to think about with it all now, so do you want another drink or are you ok. I think my coffee went cold somewhere in our talk" she said, amusement coming through in to her words at the end.

"I'm glad to hear you're up late, I might take you up on that offer. I don't think I need another drink now. Is it okay if I go and come back another time?"

Melony smiled "Sure, my door is always open drop by whenever you want to talk."