Revelations Part Three
Posted on Sun Jan 29th, 2017 @ 4:51pm by Ensign Jonathan Forrest
Edited on on Sun Jan 29th, 2017 @ 9:34pm
Episode:
Out of Sequence
Location: USS Relentless
Timeline: Alex and Jonathan Age 11
USS Relentless, 2379, 7 Years Ago=/=
After the turbolift had deposited Marcie, Jonathan, and Alex at the right floor, they made their way to Gilik’s office and pressed the chime.
Inside the office, Dr. Gilik Farys quickly had a glance over his appointment notes and stood up from his seat, running his fingers through his dark curly hair before stepping toward the door and opening it for his visitors.
"Good morning," he said warmly, smiling at each of them in turn. "Come on in."
Jonathan looked over at Alex and took his hand, “It’s okay,” he whispered. Then to the counselor, he said, “Hi.”
Marcie gave him a wan smile, “Good morning, Doctor. These are my sons Jonathan and Alex. Alex, you can say hello.”
Alex lifted up his head somewhat but didn't meet the doctor's eyes. "Hi," he said weakly. He held tightly to his brother's hand for a long moment before releasing it.
Gilik leaned down a little so he could look the boys in the eye, at their level, even if they weren't going to look back at him. "Hello, Jonathan. Hello, Alex. I'm very glad to meet you. You can come pick a comfy seat if you like. And if you want something to eat or drink, just let me know--I've got a replicator back here."
Marcie walked into the inner office waiting for the boys to follow. Jonathan walked in almost immediately, “Can, I have some cranberry juice sir?” he asked.
Alex was slower to follow, but feeling his mother's glare on the back of his neck urged him forward. He moved around Jonathan and claimed a large, comfy looking chair for himself. He lifted his head and began to look around the office.
"Cranberry juice for the gentleman," Gilik said, fetching the beverage from the replicator and handing it to Jonathan. He glanced toward Alex with a friendly smile, though he kept his distance. "Anything for you?"
Alex shook his head, still not meeting the doctor’s gaze. “No thank you, I’m okay.”
Gilik pulled his attention away from the shy boy, noting his reaction and demeanour. He turned to face their mother instead. "Anything for you, Captain, before we get started?"
“Some hot tea would be fine,” she replied more out of politeness than real need.
Jonathan took a sip of juice, waiting for whatever was going to happen, to happen.
After delivering the tea, Gilik took an unoccupied chair and sat comfortably. "So," he began, "who'd like to tell me why we're meeting today?"
“Well, we’re here because Alex has been acting out of character. He is talking back, not eating like he should and being disrespectful. It’s not just a discipline problem, or I’d deal with it myself. I thought it maybe, well, you’re the expert. I’ll let you determine that,” Marcie said.
Gilik glanced briefly at young Alex, and then back to his mother. He could feel the waves of discomfort coming off the boy, being talked about in this way. "Captain, do you think it might be best if I talk to each of you separately?" he gently suggested.
“Of course. Do you want to talk to both boys together, or each of them separately?”
"I think they should stay together, at least for now," he replied, briefly smiling in Jonathan's direction. The two boys seemed to have a special bond, and he knew Alex didn't want to be left alone here. He returned his attention to the Captain. "Why don't you and I have a brief chat, privately, about what you think is going on, and then I'll spend the rest of the session just talking with the boys. Does that sound okay to you?"
“That’s fine,” she said, “Johnny why don’t you take Alex out to the waiting room, you can take your drink with you if you’re careful and promise not to spill it. We’ll call you when we’re done here.”
“Yes, Mother,” Jonathan answered as he took Alex’s hand.
Alex wasn’t happy about the situation one bit. He didn’t like how people were talking about him like he wasn’t in the room. He hated that their mother was treating them like little kids. ‘Promise not to spill,’ like they were still five or six instead of eleven. The one silver lining is so far Dr. Gilik hadn’t proven too bad. Alex continued to refrain from saying anything, but he did shoot his mother a look, the first time he had lifted his head all the way up since entering the room, before letting Jonathan lead him out.
“You asked me what I think is wrong. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. But the behavior change has been recent. The boys were living with their other mother, Jennifer, until about six weeks ago. Alex is her biological son, she bore him, and they are especially close. Perhaps he is just missing her and acting out because of it. Perhaps it is depression or something more serious and clinical. But Jonathan was telling me last night, that he and Alex were playing some kind of fantasy simulation in the holodeck and Alex’s character was a princess. Jonathan was curious as to why Alex would do that. I’m not sure if that has anything to do with it or not.”
Gilik nodded along as she spoke, making a few notes on a PADD. "It's a very curious age. Children explore a lot of different ideas... and they can also be quite hard on one another. But I don't get the sense that Jonathan is being judgmental of his brother. Would you consider it out of character for Alex to explore that sort of roleplay?"
“First, you’re correct, Jonathan wasn’t being judgmental. More curious. He’s very protective of Alex and even though he is three weeks older, it sometimes seems like he’s trying to be three years older. Second, I don’t know about what Alex may been exploring. Usually they play Starship Captain or some simulation that Jonathan comes up. This is really the first time since they’ve been here that they’ve done something that Alex came up with.”
"Mm-hm. And in what ways do you find he's acting out of character, or being disrespectful?"
“He was pretty compliant and respectful. A little shy sometimes but pretty obedient most of the time. Recently he has been talking back, sleeping late, being late to class. Isolating himself. Also, he hasn’t been eating right.
“When I told him this morning that we were coming to see you, he first tried to talk me out of coming. He promised he would do better, behave, eat right, be more obedient, not talk back, just as long as we not come here. Then when I told him I tried to assure him that I was just looking out for his welfare and that I cared for him and loved him, he became defiant and refused to come. I had to insist that we come.”
Gilik made a few more notes, silently drawing a few hypotheses based on what Marcie was telling him. "Well, when it comes to defiance and disobedience, it's quite normal, even healthy, for kids to go through these phases as part of establishing a confident sense of self." He glanced up and gave the Captain an understanding smile. "As inconvenient as it can be for parents. In this case, though... it could be something more than just the usual bumps on the road to self-realization. It sounds like there's something he's very afraid of coming to light, and for that reason among others, I don't want him forced to be alone with me. Before we dig down to what's really bothering him, he's going to need to feel comfortable talking to me, and that alone might take some time. I did want to ask you whether he's had a recent medical checkup...?"
“Both boys had one just before Jennifer brought them here and there was nothing unusual," Marcie said.
"Okay, good to rule out issues on the medical front. Now, is there anything else in terms of his behaviour or recent personality that you find concerning, and do you have any theories of your own at this stage?"
“No, just what I have already told you. My biggest concern is the suddenness of the change, that and the issue with his eating.”
"Sure. Alright, I think I've got enough for now. Why don't you invite the boys back in?" Gilik suggested. "It's probably best if you stay nearby while they're here. These sessions can be quite emotionally intense for some children, so if he needs to stop it'll be good to know you're nearby."
“I’ll go get them now,” Marcie said. She stood to her feet, “I’ll be waiting out in the reception area.”
She exited the office and found the two boys sitting talking quietly. “You can go in now,” she told them.
“You ready now?” Jonathan asked.
“No,” Alex answered sharply. “But it’s not like we have a choice.” He stood and walked past his mother, entering the counselor’s office. He returned to the same chair he had claimed earlier, still not meeting the doctor’s eyes.
Jonathan, with more confidence than his brother walked him behind him. He had finished his juice but had a trace of it on his lips. As he sat down, he touched Alex lightly on the arm.
"Hey, you two," Gilik said softly. "I appreciate you spending some time with me. First of all, I don't want any 'sirs' or anything while you're here. You can call me Gilik, or Dr. Farys if you like that better. Secondly... I want you to know this is a safe place to talk about anything that might be on your mind. If you should feel like talking about any secrets, I can't tell anyone, not even your mom, unless I have reason to believe you might be in danger. I'd like to just get to know you both a little, and I thought it'd be easier to do that without your mom hanging around." He smiled in Alex's direction, even though Alex was pointedly avoiding his gaze. "It can be pretty embarrassing to talk about some things around your parents, and especially to hear some of the things they say about you."
“Well, we’ve kind of been back and forth between our moms, “Jonathan volunteered, “and sometimes it’s kind of hard to adjust between, well, they’re just different.”
"Very different," Alex echoed his brother. "How--how long do we have to be here?" he dared to ask.
"We've got a little under an hour left," the Counselor answered, glad at least that the boy was speaking up at all. "How is it different, between your two moms? You want to tell me a little more about that, Alex?"
Alex blinked. He had hoped to hide behind more of Jonathan's answers, but with the spotlight on him he felt compelled to answer. "Mom's fun and spends a lot of time with us. She plays with us and teaches us things. Mother, Captain Forrest," he clarified, "is stern. She orders us around like we're a member of her crew." The boy could feel his brother's eyes on him. He knew Jonathan didn't share his opinion. He worshiped the ground their mother walked on.
Gilik focused on Alex as he spoke, nodding sympathetically. "Does it make you feel bad--being ordered around? Do you feel like she doesn't love you as much?"
"I know she loves me, but I don't--she doesn't care what we think or how we feel."
“That’s not true, “Jonathan was quick to interject, “she does care, she just, I don’t know, shows it differently.”
Gilik gave Jonathan a soft, but quelling look. He could sympathize with both these boys--Alex, struggling, yet being immediately contradicted when he spoke out, and Jonathan, being caught in the middle and wanting to make sure everyone loved each other. "I'm glad you feel confident in that, Jonathan," he said. "I do want to talk about why Alex might feel differently, though." He turned to Alex. "Can you give me an example of a time you felt Mother didn't care what you thought or felt?"
"When she dragged me here," Alex replied dryly.
Gilik smirked--he'd figured that was the sort of response he'd get. "And you didn't feel like you could tell her why it was so important to you not to come?"
"I told her," Alex snapped, his voice rising. "She just didn't listen."
The Counselor nodded. "Maybe we can talk to your mom later about how she can listen to you more, so you feel heard and respected. What's another thing you wish she would listen to?"
"To how I'm feeling. I tell her I'm tired and she makes me get up. I tell her I'm not hungry and she punishes me if I don't eat."
Gilik found these remarks somewhat concerning, but he kept on listening rather than making any notes. His full attention was on the boys. "Do you think you'd feel better if you could just sleep more and not have to eat all the time?"
Alex lowered his head, the fire going out of his voice. "I don't know, maybe." He went quiet for a long moment. "No. I sleep a lot but it doesn't make me feel better."
Gilik felt his heart squeeze up. There was something really bothering this boy, and he felt sure he could uncover it. He reminded himself not to push too hard--he'd already made more progress than he would have expected after how unwilling Alex was to be here at all. "That sounds very frustrating, Alex. Your doctors say your body is healthy, so we need to find out why you're not feeling as good as you should be. Is there anything that does make you feel better? Can you think of the last time you felt really happy, and free?"
Alex shook his head. "It's stupid."
Jonathan was torn between defending his mother, who he didn’t feel was doing what Alex was accusing her of, and protecting his brother. There was a little tic in his left eye and finally in a quiet voice he turned to Alex and said, “You’re not stupid, Alex. Don’t let anyone tell you that. You’re smarter than me, you always have been, just tell him what you feel. I won’t say anything to mother. I promise. Just go ahead and tell him.”
Gilik was silent as he watched the two of them. He resisted the urge to ask Jonathan not to pressure his brother. It might be telling to observe a little more of how the two interacted.
Alex closed his eyes and took a ragged breath. He felt knots coiling in his stomach again. He provided his answer to Jonathan instead of the counselor. "I was happy yesterday, playing on the holodeck with you. Even though I didn't want to at first, once we were there I had fun."
Jonathan was about to respond, his mouth opened, but he stopped and just looked over at Gilik and sat back in his chair, but he kept his hand on Alex’s arm.
Gilik glanced between them, remembering what their mother had brought up earlier, and Jonathan's curiosity about what Alex had worn in the holodeck. When it was clear neither was going to speak up right away, he filled the silence: "What was the most fun about the program you did with your brother, Alex?"
Alex shrugged. "I don't know, having Johnny there I guess. Usually I play that program by myself and it was more fun with him there."
Gilik smiled briefly at Jonathan, and then at Alex. "Do you wish you could share your program with more people? Or is there something about your program that Johnny understands that you think other people wouldn't? Maybe something that mother wouldn't understand?"
Alex finally met Gilik's eyes. The boy stared at him for a moment. The counselor's questions cut right through to the one thing he didn't want to mention. The one thing that would get him in trouble. Not knowing that his brother had already told Marcie about the character he played on the program and she had already told the counselor, Alex enacted the one defense he could think of, he lied. "No," he said simply.
As a strong empath, Gilik generally knew when someone was lying, and could have seen this one a mile away even if he hadn't already been told certain things by the boys' mother. But if a child felt he needed to lie to protect himself, calling him on it aggressively wasn't the right move. "Okay," Gilik said softly. "As long as you're sure. Remember... this is a safe place, and you can talk about anything that might be on your mind. I'm not going to be upset with you in any way, no matter what you tell me. We could even talk privately, just you and me, if you should ever want to."
Alex looked at Gilik closely. What was up with his questions? He had said, 'no.' Why was he pushing so much? And then he noticed the thick, dark eyes that he knew belonged to Betazoids. Gilik also had some slight points to his ears, but the only species Alex could think of with pointy ears were Vulcans, but he didn't act very Vulcan like and a Vulcan counselor sounded too ironic to be possible. In whatever case, it was possible the counselor was reading his mind.
The color drained from the young boy's face. "There's--there's nothing wrong with me," he defended against an accusation that had not come.
Gilik leaned forward a little. "Of course not," he said softly. "I don't think there's anything wrong with you... except that maybe, you're not as happy as you could be, and maybe that there are things you wish you could talk about, but you're scared to."
"I don't want anyone to hate me." Alex blinked rapidly. "I was so scared yesterday."
Gilik nodded in understanding. The strength of his emotions was starting to seep across the room. It was a whole lot of stress for an eleven-year-old to have to bear. "Why would anyone hate you, Alex?" he asked very gently. "I know you're scared. I want you to know you're safe here and now."
"Because I'm weird and I do weird things," Alex said softly. "I hate me."
TBC
Ensign Jonathan Forrest
Chief Helm Officer
USS Highlander
Guest appearences by Kristen and Adam(aka Gilik)