Oh Brother

Posted on Fri Sep 4th, 2015 @ 3:33am by Lieutenant Ryan North

Episode: Lost Property
Location: North's Quarters
Timeline: MD 01: 1700

Ryan slumped into his desk chair and keyed up a connection to Starbase 183. As the computer worked through getting the connection set up he stood and headed to the bedroom to change into something more comfortable. He returned wearing a black sleeveless tee-shirt and shorts. He sat back down in the desk chair just as the screen changed and he was looking at the face of his twin.

"What's up bro?" Jackson asked. "It's good to see you man, looks like you made the trip all right."

Ryan shrugged. "More or less."

"Hows your staff?"

"I don't really have any staff at the moment," Ryan responded. "I mean its just me right now. No assistant or other department personnel."

"Guess that means you won't have to worry about checking everyone else's work for errors then. Hows the ship? Everyone being nice to the new guy?"

"Um, so far," Ryan answered. He started fidgeting with his hands and then stopped with Jackson raised an eyebrow on the screen.

"Alright, out with it."

"Out with what?"

"Whatever is making you fidget like that," Jackson said, pointing at the screen. "And don't tell me nothing because we both know that's a pile of BS. Do you want me to conference in Grax?"

"That is not fair how you two gang up on me like that," Ryan muttered.

"We're allowed too," Jackson said. "Well, I'm family I know that I'm allowed to and I think as your best friend, he's allowed to was well."

"That's not very nice."

"Again, I don't have to be nice I'm family. Did you not hear that the first time, did you get another concussion or something? But seriously, out with it."

"Remember that guy I told you about at that conference?" Ryan asked. "The one I went to after Diego died?"

Jackson scratched his head. "Um, sorta. Why?"

"He's the ships chief of operations," Ryan sighed heavily.

"You already made it awkward, didn't you?"

Ryan opened his mouth to rebuke that remark and then quickly closed it. There was no way that he was going to be able to fool Jackson or Grax when he talked to him.

"Maybe," Ryan admitted. "I ran into him in the corridor... though he insists that he's already forget about it."

"Than take him at his word and don't worry about," Jackson commented. "Don't do that thing you do when you blow something completely out of proportion."

"Diego said that a lot," Ryan muttered.

"Your husband was a very wise man," Jackson smiled. "How are you doing anyway? The anniversaries coming up."

Ryan nodded and clamped down on the surge of emotions that came when someone even mentioned the anniversary of his husbands death. He knew that he should have been over it by now.

"Doing ok I guess," Ryan shrugged. "I mean its always tough."

"You know that he won't want you spending the rest of your days alone, right? Diego would want you to go and have fun, other relationships."

"I'd feel like I was betraying him," Ryan said, softly."

"You aren't," Jackson responded gently. "It's been over three years Ryan, you need to move on with your life. It's what Diego would want. We both know that. Hey, I gotta run. Hang in there. I'll talk to you next week."

And with that said, Jackson cut the communications channel. Ryan slumped back in his chair and hung his head. He knew that Jackson was right, Diego wouldn't want him to spend the rest of his life alone. But getting close to anyone, even in platonic always seemed to send him spiraling down an anxiety ridden path.

He stood up and headed toward the bedroom again and grabbed some work out gear. Maybe a good workout session would be enough to quiet his mind.

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