Command Training - The Pompous Bolian

Posted on Thu Aug 6th, 2015 @ 2:39pm by Lieutenant Commander Ciaran McIntyre & Lieutenant Commander Horatio Hawke

Episode: Lost Property
Location: Main Bridge [Deck 1, USS Canberra]
Timeline: Late 2396

The turbolift doors hissed open on the main bridge and the booming, complaining voice immediately assaulted everybody's ears. The owner of the seismic baritone was engaged in a needlessly loud dressing down of a hapless security guard who longed for a place to hide somewhere in the tiny turbolift.

Ambassador Zar Glargax instantly forgot about his prey when he noticed the turbolift doors had opened and shuffled his great bulk out into the relatively open space of the bridge. He was a great bull of a Bolian, who knew how to use his bulk to his advantage. Despite his belligerent treatment of the poor, gold-collared crewman now doing his best to blend in with the bulkhead, Glargax had a reputation as a deft politician and a skilled diplomat. Put simply, he was vital to many Federation negotiations and because of that, most people didn't dare call him out on his at times abominable behaviour.

Moving like he owned the place, Glargax stormed over to the railing separating the back of the bridge from the command area, his eyes fixed on the man in the centre chair. "Captain, I would have thought you would adequately brief your people about my requirements," he blasted. "Your so-called accommodations are negligently inadequate and I insist that you rectify the situation post haste!"

Commander Ciaran McIntyre eyed the Bolian out of the corner of his eye, preferring to complete his machinations with the helm officer before turning to address him. They were about to enter a decidedly hostile area of space and without the proper course corrections, they could fly right into a skirmish.

Eventually the Commander pasted on a smile and turned to face the red wrath of the diplomat. "Ambassador Glargax, good morning!" He greeted the man brightly, having learned already that it was usually best to ignore the Bolian's opening gambit. "Are your suites not up to your liking?"

"Suites?" Glargax shot back incredulously before pursing his lips and puffing his cheeks. "My good man, that glorified broom cupboard you so charitably call suites ... is unworthy of the moniker. I require more suitable lodgings. Admiral Kennedy herself assured me that I would have everything I need on this journey, now I must insist that you adhere to her wishes." The Bolian drew himself up and clutched the lapel of his jacket looking exceedingly regal in his dignity.

"Well, I do appreciate your feelings Ambassador." Mac shared a knowing glance with the tactical officer who stood over the Bolian's shoulder. "Unfortunately the USS Enterprise - the ship originally assigned to your transport - was delayed while assisting with an outbreak of Lerinian Cholera. The Canberra was the only ship in your locale with adequate facilities."

"Don't try to placate me with meaningless excuses, Captain!" the Ambassador bellowed. "I am Zar Glargax. Ambassador Extraordinaire of the Federation President, former Consul-General of Bolarus, Governor of Olmak Nine and the Outer Belts, drafter of the Kogaran Peace Accords and Mediator of the Dondar Conflict! You will accord me the courtesies I am due!"

McIntyre's patience was wearing thinner with every flap of the bleating blue gums. "I'm afraid that there are no more grand quarters than the ones you've been assigned Ambassador. We could always put you up in the holodeck, should that be more amenable to you? You could have a simulated suite set up to your own specifications."

The great green eyes flared, if he'd had eyebrows they'd have flown off the top of his bald head. As it was, he looked almost apoplectic and he shook from the indignation. "I will not stoop to living in some fantasy dollhouse just because you and your people have failed in their duty to an Ambassador of the United Federation of Planets!" He paused a moment, sniffed the air hautily and gazed around the bridge before his piercing eyes settled in Mac again. "I am familiar with this class of vessel, Captain, and I know you can do better than what you've given me."

"You're clearly unfamiliar with our particular vessel type." McIntyre had reached the point where the Bolian could have been a newborn kitten, for all he felt threatened by him. "Our state rooms were converted to probe storage for our expedition. If it is the particular size of facility you require, I would be happy to have a bunk set up among them."

Glargax crossed his arms across his chest and looked down at McIntyre with a patronising stare. "What about your cabin, Captain?"

McIntyre rounded on the Ambassador. "Now listen here, Glargax. You are a civilian passenger on this ship and I have entertained your delusions of grandeur as much as I can but as you are no doubt aware, we are about to pass into a contested war zone in order for you to attempt to make peace between these two people." His eyes flashed with fury. "You are up here, complaining about the facilities aboard my ship and diverting my crew and I from the very important business of ensuring that you are ferried to your destination in one piece."

He took a breath to revel in the aghast look of the hideous, pompous Bolian. "Now you can be happy with the ample quarters which you have been assigned or you can make do with the brig until we reach our destination."

Glargax visibly shook once more, but this time he realised he was in a corner. He puffed his cheeks one last time, tilted his head back and spoke down his sizeable nose at McIntyre. "Admiral Kennedy will hear of this, Commander," he said before turning with surprising grace and retreating back to the turbolift.

Mac merely raised an eyebrow and turned to begin reissuing orders.

The bridge shimmered out of existence, replaced with the inside of a holodeck. Horatio Hawke stood by the arch with a furrowed brow. "I'm beginning to see a pattern here, Mac," he said.

"What's that?" The Scot asked, still disconcerted from the sudden disappearance of his crew. "Your friend there was interfering with ship's business in an active combat zone - he shouldn't even have been on the bridge."

"Let's hope you never come across the real Ambassador Glargax," Hawke replied. "He's a force of nature, from what I'm told." He walked across to McIntyre, checking the PADD in his hand. "Nevertheless, you mostly kept your cool. Right up until the end there, I never suspected you wanted to knock his block off.

"Glargax was interfering with the operation of the ship, you're right about that," the first officer continued. "And you managed to get him off the bridge without having to call security, which is good. Top marks for safeguarding the operation of the ship."

"Thanks."

"But," Hawke added, "threatening to throw him in the brig might have been a step too far. It's probably the worst part of the job - especially when dealing with buffoons like Glargax - but a commanding officer needs to know when to be diplomatic. Maybe think about a more diplomatic way to frame that choice for him."

Mac knew he'd taken it a step too far and it was amazing how infuriating a hologram could be. He sighed. "Yeah, you're probably right."

"Of course I am," Hawke replied with a cheerful grin. "Now, I'm giving you a pass on this one, Lieutenant, because you committed no fatal errors. But we will have to work on your diplomatic skills."

"Many have tried, sir," McIntyre smiled, dropping his professionalism, "many have tried."