Part IV - First Session

Posted on Thu Jan 30th, 2014 @ 1:41pm by Lieutenant Commander Horatio Hawke

Episode: Trauma
Location: Starfleet Medical, Pike City
Timeline: 12 November 2390

Counsellor Toma’s office was comfortable. It had soft artificial lighting, lush carpeting in dark, muted colours and the two windows were covered with flowing curtains. There was a fireplace on one wall, surrounded by shelves decorated with various awards, photographs and books. The counsellor’s desk was a heavy, dark wood that looked oak, and sparsely decorated.

Horatio sat at one end of the plush leather sofa, his right arm resting on the bulbous armrest and his head resting in his upturned palm. Counsellor Toma sat opposite him in a single chair with his legs crossed and a PADD resting on his knee. Horatio liked to think of that as the stereotypical counselor’s pose.

Commander Isson Toma was apparently pretty good at his job. The countless qualifications, awards and commendations that decorated the walls of this office certainly left that impression. He was one of the ranking counselors at Starfleet Medical in Pike City and had a specialty in treating victims of trauma.

“I still don’t know why I’m here,” Horatio grumbled. They were about half an hour into the session and had so far exchanged little more than pleasantries and covered off on administrative nonsense.

Maybe that was because Horatio wasn’t being the most cooperative of patients.

“You need to be certified fit for duty, Horatio,” Toma replied in that infuriatingly calm voice.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t explain why I’m here,” Horatio pointed at the floor. “Aren't I a little below your pay grade, Commander?”

“There are a lot of people who are worried about you, Horatio,” Toma said. “This isn’t just a simple psychological clearance situation.”

Horatio swallowed and looked away from him. He knew that. He didn’t have to like it. “They’re just …” he stumbled on the words. “They’re just worried because of a few … minor incidents. It’s nothing to worry about. I’m fine, really.”

“Well, you worried them all enough to get you here,” Toma said. He held up his hand and started ticking names off his fingers, “Your friends Chifley, D’Aureth and McIntyre. A class of academy cadets. The first year simulation team over at the annexe. The Dean of First Year Students. Trust me, if somebody like Commodore Peterson is worried, then you know it’s serious.”

Horatio shook his head, he could feel his anger rising at this whole absurd situation. He was just having a bad few days. Weeks. So what?

“So,” Toma said after a few moments of silence. “Why don’t you tell me about the Swiftsure?”

That was the question Toma had asked before Horatio started to question why he was even there. It was a stupid question. Years past. What did it matter? “She’s an Akira-class ship,” Horatio said, knowing he wasn’t answering the question. “A little over four hundred and fifty metres long. Crew of about five hundred, give or take. Last I heard she was in for a refit.”

“Okay, I can get her technical specs off a computer anytime I want, Horatio,” Toma said. Was that irritation in his voice? “I want to know about your history on the Swiftsure.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Horatio persisted.

“It has everything to do with everything,” Toma replied, back in his calm tone.

“How could it?” Horatio threw his hands in the air, his voice raising. “I haven’t seen it in nearly four years!”

“Fine then,” Toma uncrossed his legs and sat forward in his chair, placing the PADD on the coffee table between them. “I’ll go specific. Tell me about when you were shot down on Ollara Four.”

You couldn’t save her!

Horatio moved his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He stared at Toma, or rather through Toma. The screams, the alarms from his console. The impact. The silence.

Her blood is on your hands!

“I … It was a … umm … Tzenkethi base …” he forced the words out, the knot in the pit of his stomach pulling tighter. “It shouldn’t have been there.”

It shouldn’t have been her!

“And where were you?”

“I was … the Captain decided to take it out,” Horatio said. “It was a stupid plan from the start! I was flying a shuttle in low to take out the command tower. But we missed something, our intel was wrong … our shuttle was hit and we went down.”

“Who else was in the shuttle?”

It should have been YOU who died!

He went to answer, but choked on his words. He couldn’t. His eyes filled with tears and he looked away from Toma, hiding them. “A Tactical Officer. Ensign Kalik.”

“Were you close with Ensign Kalik?” Toma prodded.

I loved her, he wanted to say, but couldn’t utter the words. The pain stopped him. He saw her lifeless body beside him, the console wedged into her midsection. The blood.

He couldn’t take this anymore. He stood up suddenly and grabbed his jacket from the seat next to him. “I have to go,” he said firmly and headed for the door.

“Horatio, wait!” Toma called after him, but he didn’t stop.

He barely heard him as he yanked open the door and slammed it shut behind him.